Listen up, I have some wisdom to share with you....hello?

 

What I Wish for You

 

It has been proven that the air that is moved by the wing of a butterfly can affect the air all the way around the world.  So something that is set in motion will not be stopped unless something like friction stops it. So one choice can begin a domino effect in your life that can only be stopped by friction….the only friction that can stop a snowball headed for hell (however slowly, or unnoticed) is prayer and God’s grace.  

Matthew 19:30  But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.  

If you apply this scripture to a pit, it is so clear that the first ones in the pit are going to be the last one’s out. So for you it may be easier for you to climb out of the pit when you finally notice that you are in the pit, albeit shallow, provided that you do not continue shoveling yourself lower into the pit by continuing to make the same choices that got you in the pit to begin with. How can you judge whether you are in the pit or not? How many classes do you need to skip or fail before you are considered a high school dropout….or college failure? How much does your grade point average need to drop before you see the shovel of dirt digging your own pit in your hands? At what number of cigarettes to you consider yourself hooked? It is easy for a fish to know when he is hooked because it is so obvious….but not a smoker….or a drinker. How many drinks before you can be considered an alcoholic?  How many classes are you late for or miss,  or how many times are you late for work, or how many times do you perform half way before it begins to become a habit or worse…an ingrained part of your personality?  Look around you at the other teens when you consider this and don’t be so prideful to consider yourself immune….Satan is the Father of lies and deception and he would love for you to fall into THAT pit!

Luke 16:10  He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.”

If you don’t even want to take a college class next semester what makes you think we would risk sending you over to seas to study. What difference does it make where you study, the point is, will you study at all? When are your priorities going to be about your future, about a vision, instead of the here and now?  Maybe you just need time to grow up. Maybe you are more following the word then I, today has enough trouble of its own.  Yes, you are much more mature then most teenagers,  but your focus on yourself gives you away, your ability to miss the things of the greatest importance….yes probably in my opinion… maybe.  I mentioned success being the most important, but no, I was wrong. Putting God first in your life is the most important; how can I ask you to grow up when even I immediately jump to the comfort zone zombie apocalypse, worldly success! Yes, I, at 52, do not have my priorities straight. What do I want…no, I don’t want you to be a mama’s boy, I don’t want you to sit at home and watch movies with me. I don’t even want you to have  a house with two kids and a good wife and live in the suburbs and go to church every Sunday. I want you to experience life, to have adventures, not at other people’s expense, not because you almost got arrested, or killed, or so drunk you imagined an amazing adventure. No, I want you to see the beauty of God, I want you to feel his presence, I want you to be in a position to where you cry out to him in Holy awwww and amazement.  I want your eyes open so you can see the work he has already done in your life.  No, I want more than that!  I want you to experience the shiver down your spine as you feel the Holy Spirit “quicken” you, and release all the doubts and fears inside of you and fill you up to overflowing. I want you to have visions and dreams that cannot deny that God knows you, will never leave you or forsake you and loves you more than I ever could.  I want you to seek him in his Word instead of in entertainment, or another girl’s arms or in another rambunctious bout with your friends. I want you to slay dragons in His name, to fight the good fight and win…instead of trying to fight the spiritual with the physical. I want you to put on His armor and surrender to Him, not to me, not to my way, and not in my timing. And I pray that he would take you on the adventure of a life time fueling your jet with his love and grace, powering your heart with his blood and mercy, pushing you forward with his power and strength. That would be success,  that would be my joy.

3 John 1:4  I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

But I must be content, presenting my request to God, waiting patiently, ”Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”  Philippians 1:6 

"STAND BACK! I am in control here!"

Oh brother.

 

Who’s in Control?

One more time I find myself grasping at straws…yes straws because they are so useless. I asked my class, if you have a choice, would you rather pound a nail in with a hammer or a straw. Of course we would all choose the hammer; after all it only takes a little common sense, right? But if we are not careful, if we act on our “natural” instinct we will look down and find the straw in our hands once again. You see the straw represents worry and the hammer represents prayer.  The straw represents our power, the hammer represents God's power.

Joshua has come to us to say, “I need some help.”  Financial help is what he was talking about. I fought the urge to recite all the dumb things he has spent his money on, but even so I still managed to throw in a few jibes. Why do I do that, I know better. You can NOT do an inside job from the outside.

Job 38:36  Who hath put wisdom in the inward parts? or who hath given understanding to the heart?  The answer of course is God….not me.  Common sense, no it is going to take an act of God. You see Jesus came because we cannot change ourselves, without the grace of God it is impossible. Romans 6:14-16  For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid. Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? Yes, we can expect our children to make wise decisions, but only if we are praying for God’s grace and mercy to be upon their lives and only if we are praying for God to implant wisdom into their hearts. Even Paul, one of the greatest apostles had trouble with this. What makes us think we won’t! Romans 7:15  For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.  It is a hopeless situation, impossible to fix…..without Jesus. Romans 7:24-25  O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.  But we will never be completely free from sin until we are rid of the flesh.

So back to Joshua, although D is in the room I take over the proceedings of “loaning” him money.  We discuss how much, we discuss the terms of paying it back. I say; “We will automatically deduct $50 out of your account every pay period. If you want to pay more than that to get it paid off sooner, you can just let us know.”  Later I am discussing it with D and  his opinion differs…. just like the sinner, know it all, prideful person that I am, unlike all I’ve been teaching about respecting your husband I shoot him down. “I have read the books about ADD and I know more than you do. He is incapable of paying bills on time, especially to family. Look at the past experiences!”  Wow, as I put that in writing it makes my stomach churn….”If you enable a child, you disable them."  The memory of this little quote on my refrigerator punches me in the stomach. 1 Corinthians 10:13  There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.  There are lots of should’ves, would’ves and could’ves, but the bottom line is I DO NOT want Joshua to fail so I grasped for control again to make it “easy” for him.  However by automatically taking it out of his bank account he doesn’t have to learn anything, have any responsibility, or learn to budget his money.  Ya, and I got onto D about always being too willing to help out and rescuing him.

Bottom line, I didn’t trust God, I didn’t trust D and I don’t believe there is any hope in growth or change for Joshua- or so spoke my actions. That these thoughts are Satanic and sin, because that means I don’t believe God and I don’t believe His Word.  

 Psalms 51:1-13  Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.  Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

Mark 9:23-24   Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

Cover me in your blood Lord Jesus, put wisdom in my heart, change my doubt into faith and give me the grace to hope and strength to let go and the knowledge to know that your Word is true and your power is able, and you are enough, in my life and in Joshua’s life.  In Jesus name. Amen.



 

It only takes an hour to solve the problems of the world.

Do you ever get caught in that little rut, reading books, watching movies just to escape reality for a little while? I was talking with my daughter, Jan, the other day and ask her what were some of her favorite books she has read this year. "I don't think I've read any." What?!, she used to read plenty! "I love my life, I really don't have anything to escape from anymore."  Is that what I'm doing? I usually read books to grow, you know the self help books. But just recently I came upon a TV series that I can get from Netflix called Lark Rise to Candleford. It is an amazingly, slow moving, no car races, no shooting....well you get the picture. It reminds me of 'Little House on the Prairie', the series I watched when I was growing up. Melody, my college kid sat down and watched a little of it with me last night and started laughing at the awkward moments, you know, when people are actually talking to work things out. They aren't texting or emailing they're just living life without computers. So we got in this argument where I was trying to explain to her that this is real life, worrying about your hair or what color of shoes you are going to wear with an outfit like most 'college girls' do is not real life. She took offense, I took offense, so I did what I do best. I went off and contemplated why I was so offended. Probably the number one reason is that these movies were bringing me peace by allowing me to escape reality for just a little while. Not that my life is that bad but when I really started considering it, it hit me. I wanted this to be my reality.

I wanted everything to be fixed in an hour. I wanted my brothers cancer to be gone in an hour. I wanted Joshua to have common sense and learn instinctively what the right thing to do is, and Daniel to understand the value of communication and the value of showing someone they are valuable so that his relationships and future relationships will be perfect. I want the Beaton's to get counseling and get fixed- instead of getting a divorce after 25 years of marriage due to pornography.  I want Sally and Dave to make restitution with their son and see their grandchildren for the first time in a year. All of this I would like to see happen in one hour. I don't want to be God, I just want things to be right. I want to be worry free, I want to be comfortable and not have to worry for a day.

And where have we landed after this roller coaster, non-reality, show ride. Right back in the middle of a comfort-zone addict mentality? The show in and of itself is not bad, I love it. But the feelings of just wanting life to be simple, carefree, and well-comfortable, is a problem. Especially if I would rather have that above God's will.  I have wrestled with this before but this time I don't think it is that serious. I think I'm just tired and I need to give myself permission to take a break or "escape"... just for a few hours without feeling guilty. I know where my real peace comes from, I know who the author of miracles and "fixing" things is. Jesus Christ, my redeemer, the Holy Spirit my Comforter, and God, all knowing, full of wisdom, and totally in control. Now that is something to rest in!

 

To Eat or Not To Eat

I could tell by his reaction that he felt like a child. I certainly felt like a mother. It just hit me so hard that he really thought that was going to be ok with me. What was it all about? Eating! He was getting ready to go into work and because I thought he had stopped for a big lunch I was just going to make him a small salad. So the simple question. "Sweetie, did you stop for lunch this afternoon, I didn't think you would be that hungry." "No, I stopped for breakfast." "What?" "Yeah, I stopped by the doughnut shop and got three CAKE doughnuts." "Really?" I honestly thought he was joking, but he was DEAD serious. "Hey, I got three cake doughnuts instead of three glazed doughnuts, those are better right."  Really?!!!

Let me back up, we have always been one of those homeschooling families that "tries" to eat right. In the beginning we started with plain cheerios and no candy or pop in the house. It was a real treat when Daddy took you out for a 'sodie pop' because they were rare and far between. Five kids and 27 years later three of my children are Dr. Pepper holics, and Honey Nut Cheerios and Frosted Mini Wheats are a common sight in my home. For my part I will not by 'sodie pops' and bring them in the house, but the teenagers buy their own when they are out and of course Daddy still treats.

Now, because of some test that have come back my sweet husband is at risk and fear has entered the equation. This is the way I see it- How can someone who loves the heck out of me, would give me the shirt of his back, take a bullet for me and has worked so hard for me so I could stay home with my kids nonchalantly, single handedly try to take away from me my most precious possession?- Him! I just don't think he gets the seriousness of it. Point number two, he is the smartest man I know. He can fix anything, build anything and if he doesn't know, given enough time, he can find out the answer. How can he not know that doughnut shops are completely off limits? I took it as a personally affront even though I know that he didn't mean it that way...we all have weak moments, right? I can not MAKE him eat right, I can do everything right here at the house but the minute he leaves he's like a 16 year old boy, driving the car for the first time! FREEDOM, finally. I don't wan to be that naggy wife that he avoids! Why couldn't he have just had a greasy hamburger, fried chicken, anything but that...fried, and sugar together!

I myself am struggling along, (as I pour cream, that does not have cream as a listed ingredient, into my tea)trying to MAKE myself exercise, stop stress snacking and stay away from things that I know make me feel drowsy, confused and irritated but my blood test came back normal, THAT'S the difference. Forgive my yelling, I guess I'm still pretty upset about it all. In fact I have a confession to make. His mom sent home two small fruit cakes for Christmas. No one in our house likes fruit cake....except D. So I made a deal, with him, I will cut them into pieces and put two small pieces in each bag then you can take out one a day. He agreed. Yesterday after hearing the confession about the doughnuts, I tossed it; One whole fruit cake in the trash. I'm also considering not buying any candy for the kid's stockings this year...and tossing the other fruit cake too!

So you decide, is this sin? A desire for control? A lack of trusting God? Just me throwing a fit, anger? A legitimate concern? I do know that with God fear should NOT be part of the equation.

All in all I still love him to pieces and hey, at least he told the truth. He could've just said, "No, I didn't eat lunch." which would've also been true, the doughnuts were for breakfast.

Back to the praying board!

Proverbs 23:1-3  When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee: And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite. Be not desirous of his dainties: for they are deceitful meat.