Transition; Mom the Boss and Teacher to Mom the Friend,
Confidant, Adviser, Supporter
Sometimes it feels like your whole world is turned upside
down. The things that you thought you had control of you actually have no
control at all, the people you thought you knew...changed and the strength you
were relying on is gone. The way I'm talking you might be thinking, " oh
my goodness, divorce, death, fire, catastrophic storm, what is it?" None
of the above, just kids, growing up. I've already talked about transition but
it would be nice if it were over in a couple of weeks. It's not....it takes
longer than that. It would be nice if all these emotions and hormonal
imbalances did not accompany me every step of the way, but no, it appears that
that is part of it. If I could just be a little wiser, know a little more,
surrender a little faster, let go a little easier....No, "When have you ever
done anything the easy way?!" Sigh. So now what. It's always the same, it
never changes.
"The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then
peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits,
without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is
sown in peace of then that make peace." So how do I get rid of this war
that is roaring inside of me and fighting and kicking and screaming every step
of the way!" Philippians 4:6-7 Be
careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with
thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God,
which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through
Christ Jesus.- Don't worry? It seems to be my greatest past time lately, that
and trying to grasp back ahold of the control that I never had in the first
place! My greatest fear....dare I even put it down on paper....yes, bring it
out into the light so it is no longer in the darkness and Satan can no longer
use it against you. My greatest fear is the future. Will my children grow up to
become what God has called them to be or will they jump ship and become a tool
for Satan. There is no middle ground for me, either you are doing good or you
are creating havoc. Yet my expectations of my children are so much higher then
I could attain. What took me years to get, I expect them to get in a day. Don't
waist time making mistakes ...once again the Lord reminds me everyone has to go
through the refiners fire. Would you have them not grow, not shine like lights
in the universe, just to sit in their previous accomplishments and rot. No, let
them out, let them learn, let...them....fall.
It is interesting that after you have spent your whole
motherhood, preaching, giving advice, training and preaching some more it comes
back.
Melody: Mom it's time to change, you were the youngest in
the family and it's almost like you can't let go of this wonderful control and
being the boss that you have found in having children. You almost enjoy it too
much. You want to continue on and on but it's time.
Mom: He's only 16.
Melody: Yes but even you said he is a very mature 16. He
can't be compared to other 16 year olds or even older teenagers.
Mom: He's still a sinner capable of making mistakes.
Melody: Then let him make them and learn from them just like
the rest of us have to.
Mom: I'm not ready to do that yet.
Melody: It's happening whether your ready or not and the
tighter you hang on the more stress you bring into the household, into your
life, your relationships and their lives. LET GO!
Mom: It's not as easy as all that. (Thoughts: You don't even
have kids, how do you know so much? Oh yeah, I've been talking to you, training
you, pointing out others who won't let go,...how sick they are and miserable.)
Melody: I know but you need to start somewhere, let them
live their own lives.
Mom: He's only 16.
Joshua: Not 13.
Mom: Can we just pretend for a little while longer.
Sometimes you act like your 13.
Daniel: I'm not the one you should be yelling at.
Mom: I'm not yelling at you, I'm yelling at
the.....stove....just let me get this out of my system.
Daniel: I can still hear you, stop.
Joshua: I know, you've said that already.
Melody: You are done being that kind of a mom, it's time to
change, to become a mentor, a friend.
Mom: They still need guidance, boundaries, I can't just drop
all of that.
Melody: Not all at the same time but at least quit telling
them what time to go to bed!
Mom: He kissed his girlfriend when they had only been going
out a month, that was stupid and they are moving way too fast. Don't they know
that the train will only pick up speed and it has no breaks!
Melody: He's going to have to learn that for himself.
Mom: He won't study unless I am right there on his back.
Melody: He may have to fail a test....or even a class.
How many times do I have to go through this...it's a
learning process. The last one is the hardest to let go of. No, the one that
doesn't seem to be able to do it on his own is the most difficult. My biggest
fear is that they will fail, mess up and pay for the rest of their life...but I
am leaving God's grace out of the equation. I am forgetting his mercy in my
own life, in my own failures and his amazing blessings, in spite of me. God is
big enough to handle my children and their futures. I must remember that it is
he that puts wisdom into the hearts of the children and he that protects them
and is with them every single step of the way.
Oh Lord please direct the paths of my children and help them
to trust you. And give me the strength, the knowledge and the faith to let go,
in your way and in your timing, not my own. In Jesus name, Amen
