"Let's go ladies, time for our morning exercise,
shoulders back, deep breath and jog!"
What
did you do on this beautiful Saturday morning. I got up....not because I wanted
to but because the dog would not take no for an answer. (D let her out an hour
earlier before he went to work!) Then I went back to bed for 30 more
minutes...contemplating. I need to get
up, get out there and jog, How late can I wait before I say, "It's too
hot." I got up threw on some shorts
and shoes and took off. It 's not because I enjoy running so much, I
don't...especially when it's hot, but I do enjoy being outside. Today it was
out of necessity that I forced myself to go. I've been on one of those two-day
eating binges. Not even five minutes could go by before I had to stick something
else in my mouth. Call it nervousness, PMSing, worrying or maybe all three but
the point was I had worked my way into feeling tired, fat, ugly and guilty.
When
I got home the last thing I wanted to do was eat, I knew once I got started I wouldn't be able
to quit. More contemplation, go to the garage sales or start on my chore list.
The first would have just piled on more guilt the second would mean taking my
sweaty, stinky self outside and grooming and bathing the dogs. Guilt from my
laziness and procrastination this last week won out again and I chose the
latter. It was also powerful enough to move me into cleaning off the kitchen
table, putting a roast in the crock pot and putting away the clean laundry.
Had
I spent my morning sipping tea and doing something I enjoy (i.e. garage
selling, reading a book, out to eat with friends) the world would not have fallen apart and
most of the chores would have simply been postponed, right? Something else,
somewhere would have had to give, school work, time with D, or maybe just
another dinner thrown together. I think my husband deserved better then that
after 12 hours of work and after 20 years of faithful work so I can stay home
to home school my children.
All
that to say that after 20 years I am still fighting for and looking for
consistency. I think I'm just looking for immediate results. We would all like
to "see' that what we do really matters, did 20 years of homeschooling,
training, teaching, talking and disciplining make a difference. Did anyone even notice my heroic efforts of
trying to set a good example. Without a vision, without a purpose and a goal
regardless of what we are doing it feels like a waist of time. But it's not
just about having a goal it's about having the faith to believe that with God's
grace you can reach that goal.
Service
without passion, without a vision kills the spirit to even try. The passion
part is what I want to pass on to my children.
Do the right thing because you love the Lord and you are fully aware of
so much that he has done for you not out of guilt. That is difficult to teach when I myself lose sight
of it every other month. It used to be once a week so I guess I'm making
progress. The idea is to realize and recognize that every single thing we do we
do unto the Lord. He is not a harsh master he has given us an opportunity to
minister and that means giving us
children to help grow US! By watching us
grow, fall, be forgiven, get back up and grow some more we are teaching them
about God's grace. By serving our family we are teaching them to serve but by
serving as unto the Lord, with joyful heart we are teaching them passion,
creating a love in their hearts for God by loving them with actions through
God's grace. Teaching them to serve the Lord is not so much about consistency,
perfection and definitely not guilt, its about love and compassion and
acceptance that they are still learning and growing too.
2 Peter 3:18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of
our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.
