Monday, December 23, 2013

Whooooo gets the glory?

Why am I so angry?
As I read an article on line about how some parents are feeding their kids only once a week I became angry. Of course if it was food it would be unheard of but they were talking about spiritually. And then you don’ t really feed them, you let someone else feed them by sending them to church.  As I am reading this article I become more and more angry. It seems to indicate that IF you feed your kids daily on His Word and do this right then your kids would be so much further along.  They wouldn’t become teenagers maybe or wouldn’t make the mistakes that all humans make? Really?  I guess the reason that I became angry is because I fell into this lie trap early on and because I did exactly the opposite I had HIGH expectations, hence my response to the article...

How about the other direction,
how about gorging them every day,
scriptures everyday…singing to them while they are still drinking just milk about the amazing God they will be serving for the rest of their lives.
 Scripture memorization? Of course! 
I used to read half a proverb to them and they could quote the rest. They knew they truth,  they lived the truth. Oh well you must have been hypocrites? No, we lived the truth, we weren’t perfect by a long shot but we fed them the word and practiced serving Him daily. I was with them 24 seven;  we talked of it by the way side, while we were walking, laying down, eating. Maybe we should have served more people, maybe we should have, should have, should have….. We taught them about the pits to avoid, yet some have run to the pit at the first opportunity and jumped in, we told them about how to do things God’s way, they want to do it their own way. 
We did everything….
Wait, everything? No, God had to be in there somewhere, the power of the Holy Spirit weren’t you there?  God, did I imagine it? Was it all me? All flesh ? Legalism?  Please tell me you were there? Please tell me it was not all filthy rags! Please show me that something stuck! Please show me even now that the things they were fed every day counted for something. Please tell me that you are more powerful than genetics, stupidity, foolish ambition, doubt, pride and the lies of Satan. Please God show me some sign that it was not all for nothing. They should be so much farther along in the race, so much stronger because they were brought up on the Word, shouldn’t they? Would we have done better to put them out in the germs so that their immune system could’ve grown stronger?  To bring on the music, the TV, the worldly so they wouldn’t have thought they were being deprived. Courtship….what a joke. Oh God was it all for not, did we think we were building our house on the rock but we were really just storing up treasures for ourselves, lining the nest, building the arsenal to make life easy on us. Ugh!
No matter how we did it the Holy Spirit has to do His work, my kids still have to go through the refiners fire. I can’t turn down the heat, I no longer have any control. God had to wait until all my resources were depleted, all power and all control were gone so He could begin the real work. The dirty work. He is working and in the end only He will get the glory, not me, not my homeschooling not my spiritual teaching. Oh yes, I received plenty of, “you have the best kids.” and “your kids are so good” many times I said, “ it’s God’s grace” but still in the midst of my heart I bask in it. Pride is such a sticky thing because we call it confidence or faith in God. There is a thin line between Godly confidence and prideful arrogance. Now I am humbled. There will be no greater joy then to hear that all my children walk in truth, but now I will know that is will be ALL God and by his grace alone. Am I telling you NOT to teach your kids the Word, absolutely not, that would be going AGAINST His Word. I am simply saying leave room for the Holy Spirit to work, don't take the entire project of making your kids Godly on your own shoulders. Of course I begged God for wisdom, of course I believe that sometime, somewhere the word that was planted in their heart will spring forth but it is not my job to make it grow, nor is it my choice to choose when or how fast it will grow. According to the Bible God can use my children any time and any place...even before they become...perfect!  

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